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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23185639">(a) Stranger in my mind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaafin/pseuds/pandaafin'>pandaafin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Awesome Robin Buckley, Billy Hargrove &amp; Eleven | Jane Hopper Friendship, Billy Hargrove Being an Asshole, Billy Hargrove Lives, Billy Hargrove Needs Love, Billy Hargrove Needs a Hug, Brotherly Steve Harrington &amp; Dustin Henderson, But first a lot people get hurt, Demon Dogs, Eleven | Jane Hopper Has Powers, Eleven | Jane Hopper Stays in Hawkins, F/F, F/M, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Protective Parent Jim "Chief" Hopper, Protective Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley &amp; Maxine "Max" Mayfield Friendship, Robin Buckley &amp; Steve Harrington Friendship, Smut, Steve Harrington Needs Love, Violence, Winter Soldier!Billy Hargrove, and, bc that's a great insider, gay shit, hopper is in hawkins, i guess, possessed Billy Hargrove, spoiler - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:35:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,824</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23185639</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandaafin/pseuds/pandaafin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy didn't die. The Russians took his body and brought him away. They changed him.... somehow. The Mind Flayer is still a part of him and he is stronger than ever. In his unfinished mission, Billy is coming back to Hawkins, to finally end what the Mind Flayer had started.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Billy Hargrove &amp; Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Robin Buckley &amp; Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley/Heather Holloway, Steve Harrington &amp; Dustin Henderson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. You've got no place to hide</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/warhead_ache/gifts">warhead_ache</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackfluffywings/gifts">blackfluffywings</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Arianna+%28aapollon_%29">Arianna (aapollon_)</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks to blackfluffywings for being such a great inspiration and also my amazing beta reader! I would be lost without you honey!</p><p>Also a big thank you to warhead_ache and Arianna (@aapollon_ on Insta) for the amazing conversation we had on Instagram! They gave me the inspiration for this story and I hope the story fits your imagination! Check out their art, it's definitely worth it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Billy</em>
</p><p>The last thing he saw was the Mind Flayer killing him. And Max. He remembered her face, her tears, which fell down on his own. He mumbled a sorry, but she was already gone. Did she even hear it? After that, the darkness followed. Darkness and this endless fucking pain. As if he was burning from the inside out. Everything was so hot. Is this how it feels when you die? Or was he already dead and this was just his personal hell, for being such an asshole? He didn’t know. But he could still feel his body… Somehow. He wanted to open his mouth, wanted to scream as loud as he could.</p><p>The pain got worse and suddenly… it was gone. Billy opened his eyes, just to stare into the familiar darkness again. He slowly sat up and looked around. Everything was fine, as if this monster never attacked him. The blonde was confused and looked around further. Then something caught his eye. How did he miss this in the first place? His eyes widened immediately, and he stumbled back. It was similar to watching TV. His body laid there, naked, on something like a desk. Four men looked at him and they did… something? He couldn’t make out what it was exactly. They injected something in his neck, and he could feel a short pinch of pain. The room looked dirty and the people spoke a language he didn’t understand. Russian or some other Slavic or eastern language. But they were talking about him. He just knew they did. All of a sudden his body twitched. Well, the body that laid there in front of him. Something dark moved under his skin. Down his chest, his arms and legs. As if all the blood had turned black. He opened his mouth again, to speak or scream, but suddenly something grabbed him from behind and pulled him back into the darkness, the unspoken words died in his throat as a silent scream.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Max</em>
</p><p>When the army finished cleaning up, their life was almost back to normal. People acted as if nothing had happened. As if there were not dozens of dead people. Max didn’t even know if everyone got a funeral. No one talked about it. Just an accident in the mall, no big deal. After they had been rescued, Max went up to one of the army guys and asked about Billy. If they would get his body, when they were finished cleaning up the bloody mess. But the guy looked confused and asked her, who she was talking about. She described him as best as she could, but the man still didn’t know who she meant. He went over to one of the other soldiers and came back, still in confusion. There was no corpse that looked like Billy, is what he told her. Then he was gone. Max knew that something was extremely wrong here, but none of the others believed her. Especially Mike got really upset, when she brought up the topic.</p><p>“Listen. I know you miss him and that his death hurt you a lot, but he is dead. We saw how he died. The Mind Flayer is gone as well. Maybe someone put his body away and didn’t tell the others immediately, okay? But there is no way, no way in hell, that he survived that!” This was what he always said. Max understood his anger. El was done after what happened. She lost her powers and also almost Hopper. Mike just cared for her mental stability. But Max knew, that was not the only reason. He didn’t like Billy, none of the other kids did.</p><p>They simply didn’t care. He was not good enough. No hero. But Max knew that’s not true. He sacrificed himself to save El. He apologized to Max. Maybe he was not the best stepbrother in the world, but he was not a bad person after all. And he definitely didn’t deserve this.</p><p>“Max?” Mr. Clark looked at her and raised an eyebrow questioningly. The young girl flinched a bit and turned to look back to the front. Her thoughts slid away again and, of course, her teacher noticed that. Everyone was looking at her and she glanced over to her friends for help. Max opened her mouth but closed it instantly. “I am sorry, I didn’t pay attention.” She looked down at her desk. Mr. Clark sighed and nodded. “That’s what I thought. Please follow my class a little more motivated now, okay? You don’t want to do some extra work, or do you?” The red head shook her head and tried to not get distracted again. When the bell rang, everyone rushed outside, but Max waited until everyone had left the classroom. She gave Mr. Clark a small smile and went to her locker. Of course her friends were already waiting there for her. “We want to do a sleepover today, over the weekend, at Mike’s house. Are you coming too? El will also be there!” Dustin immediately asked and gave her a big, bright smile. After Hopper had come back, El’s mental stability got a little bit better, but the chief wanted her to stay in the cabin most of the time. Not even Mike was allowed to see her the first few weeks. “I-I don’t know. It-“, before she could finish, Dustin interrupted her, “I already asked Steve to pick you up, so you can’t really say no!” Max sighed in defeat and nodded with a grin. Then she got her textbooks out of her locker.</p><p>Her mom was already waiting outside the school and gave her a big smile, when she got in the parked car. She asked about school as always, but Max didn’t answered with more than two words. When they got home, she went into her room and packed some stuff for the sleepover. Her skateboard was leaning against the back of her closet, waiting for her to take it for a ride sometime again. But she just couldn’t. Max pushed the closet door shut. She finished her homework silently and with a distracted mind, then went outside, waiting for Steve to pick her up.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Billy</em>
</p><p>He turned around again. His gaze was fixated on the man standing in front of him, a gun in his trembling hand. He could see fear in his opponent’s eyes, even though the guy really tried to look calm and collected. But the boy knew better. He could smell the fear, could taste it on his tongue like the spice of a habanero chili. The man moved slowly to the side. He probably thought Billy couldn’t see him, because it was dark where they were standing. But he was wrong, oh so wrong. The blonde could see every single movement, every muscle spasm of the others sweating hand, every twitching finger. He closed his eyes and started concentrating. He could feel the man shuffling closer. A few steps and he would stand in front of Billy. But that would not happen. He called them in his mind, cried out to them. He could already hear them coming, following his commands. The man obviously could not and didn’t hear a thing, because he was still moving closer. Billy stood stock still and grinned.</p><p>Suddenly there was a loud, deafening noise and he heard the man screaming loudly, the sound almost inhuman in pitch. The young boy opened his eyes again. There was a gaping hole in the wall and in front of him, on the now stained floor was the man. He was still screaming and trying to fight the monsters hunched above him, but it was hopeless. In less than a minute he laid still, his breathing stopped dead in its tracks. Billy walked towards him and crouched down.</p><p>He put his hand approvingly on the head of the smaller demodog and started to pet it slowly. The monster continued ripping out flesh and meat of the man’s body and eating it, devouring the bits whole. Billy rose again and looked up to the other men standing around and watching him. They did this nearly every day and he wanted to finally start it. The man who stood in the front locked eyes with him and slowly nodded. The grin on Billy’s face was back, wider than before. Finally.</p><p>Inside him, in his deepest thoughts, put way back in his mind, a part of the real Billy screamed in tears of anger and tried to get the control again. It was hopeless. They both knew what was going to happen now, one part was absolutely looking forward to it, the other part, afraid, terrified of the things to happen.</p><p>This was the beginning of the fucking end. And no one is going to stop him now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. And I'm feeling like a villain, got a hunger inside</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Again, a big thank you to blackfluffywings, for beta reading this so fast and for always supporting my shit lmao. Ily and I hope you know that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Max</em>
</p><p>Dustin was sitting in the passenger seat and talked throughout the whole drive. The red head was not sure if Steve was even paying attention to him, but Dustin didn’t seem to care at all. Max was looking outside the cars window, seeing trees and houses hastily pass by in a blur, definitely not listening to Dustin. A few people were working in their garden, some looked up and nodded towards them in recognition. Steve turned into the driveway of the Wheelers house, stopped the car and sighed deeply.</p><p>“Dustin, let’s talk about that another day, ‘kay? Have fun and now get out you shitheads.” He looked back to Max and gave her a reassuring smile, which Max returned immediately. Dustin nodded, got out and walked towards the front door, closely followed by Max. Steve drove off again and gave her one last wave, then he was gone.</p><p>“We haven’t been hanging out in a while, huh. Are you excited?” Dustin asked, while they were waiting for Mrs. Wheeler to answer the door. Max raised her eyebrows uncertain. “Excited for what? A sleepover?” She giggled, but Dustin looked at her all serious. “No? We are trying to help El to get her powers back! Mike told me she managed to move a can yesterday!” Before the young girl could say anything to that, the door was opened, and Mrs. Wheeler smiled fondly at them.</p><p>“Oh hello! Come inside. The others are already downstairs, you guys know the way!” The kids both nodded and went down the staircase to the basement. The others greeted them almost in unison when they entered. El hugged Max tightly and told her how much she had missed the red-haired girl. Max had missed El too, but she still felt somewhat unwell. She wanted to go home again, curl up on her bed and just sleep. All of a sudden, she felt very tired and exhausted.</p><p>They sat down in a circle, El in the middle. All eyes were on the small can that was in front of her. No one dared to say something, so that Eleven would not be distracted by their chatter. Blood slowly dripped out her nose, a dark red trail over her upper lip. El concentrated as much as she could and suddenly the can was crushed with a loud noise, without anyone touching it. El smiled and leaned back happily. “I did it.” The others hugged her in excitement and cheered a little. She did it! Her powers were finally back! Or at least a part of them was. The others cried out excitedly, but Max didn’t join them. Her thoughts rushed off and suddenly without her realizing she was standing. The others looked at her in confusion, the room was still again and she physically felt her friends eyes bore into her. Max quietly asked in the silence “You could go and look where he is, right?” The others immediately knew who she meant, no need to mention his name.</p><p>“Max. We talked about that!” Mike glared at her and talked in a low, angry voice. She felt her eyes getting wet and she shook her head in withheld wrath. Her eyes were cold when she snapped back at him. “No Mike. We definitely did not. You told me what you think of my idea, and…” She was interrupted by Lucas, who just put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. “We know you miss Billy Max, but you have to look at the facts, how they are. We saw him dying, how that monster killed him. You really should stop bringing your hopes up every day and start getting back down to reality.” The tears freely ran down her cheeks now and she pushed Lucas away angrily. “He was my family, okay?!” she screamed at her friends. “He was an asshole!” Mike replied equally furious and stood up as well. Max saw plain red. She shot forward and pushed Mike back as hard as she could. He fell back on the floor with a huff, the air being pushed out of his lungs. The girl took her stuff and ran up the stairs, out of the house with loud steps echoing through the hall.</p><p>Jonathan Byers, Wills brother, was waiting outside in his car for Nancy. He looked worriedly at her and got out of his vehicle. “Are you alright?” She heard him asking, but Max just rushed past him and wiped off the tears with the back of her hand. She didn’t cry. Ever. Jonathan shouted something after her and she heard that he was running behind her, but she was faster. Max just closed her eyes and ran as fast as she could. She didn’t care where she was running to, just away from here. The girl was so sad and angry. They were her friends, how could they say something like that? Especially Lucas! The emotions overwhelmed her and she had to stop to be able to breath steadily again.</p><p>The only thing that could be heard was her short and suppressed sobs. She sat down on the sidewalk and wiped off the last remaining tears. Max pulled her legs towards her chest and rested her head on her knees. It was cold and she started to freeze. One glance around confirmed that she had been running into the wrong direction. Of fucking course. As if her day was not shit enough already. “I know you are not dead. Please come back. Please… I need you back here!” She murmured over and over again. Suddenly a hand touched her shoulders. Max jumped a little and looked up. A girl was looming above her, a small smile on her face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Billy</em>
</p><p>They let him go through a portal. It still was a long way to cover, but that way no one would be able to trace or notice him early on. But there was no real portal in Hawkins, which was a problem. Two of the physicians that worked here, would fly there and put up a small portal up somewhere in the woods, so he could easily enter the real world again. When he first entered the dark world, he had felt an overwhelming pain, just like when the Mind Flayer almost had killed him. The wounds on his mortal body had started to slowly rip open again and they had to get him out of there.</p><p>Now it was the second try. They injected the weird fluid in his neck again and it felt like the blod in his body was boiling hotter than fire. The men had to fixate him on the table, because he started to get aggressive and shouted, cursed and screamed at them. But then after a short while of uncontrollable anger and emotions he had never felt before, everything was fine again. He was dizzy, felt like he was drunk. Everything started to get blurry and the voices seemed so, so far away.</p><p>During all the training sessions, the demodogs ate almost all of the people Billy had to fight. When they fed on them, Billy could feel things. Could see things. Their lives, the victims’ lives. The families those people had - the faces of their wives, husbands, and children. Everything. The Mind Flayer took all their memories to learn everything about them. That way, Billy had learnt to easily speak and understand Russian in less than a few minutes. But that was not the only ability he newly achieved. By the end of his first day he knew nearly every fight technique known to mankind. He knew them and he could use them.</p><p>But the real Billy deep inside was tortured. Not only did he see their lives, but he could feel everything they had ever felt. The love, the hate, the happiness and the fear. The last minutes of their lives were the worst. They knew they would die, the horrible fear inside their hearts burnt itself into Billy’s mind and he felt like a mess. After the third man, Billy wasn’t even sure anymore which feelings belonged to him and which to the memories of the dead corpses in front of him. He constantly felt like vomiting and spitting because of all the bad feelings. He wanted it to stop. This emotional pain hurt more than everything he ever felt before. But no one could hear him screaming. His voice got less and less loud, more unsteady every time, until it was just him crying and sobbing. With every minute passing by, the real Billy started to understand one thing better and better. He was all alone here.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Max</em>
</p><p>The red head was sitting on the passenger seat of a nice car, observing bypassing cars and people. The girl she met earlier was driving and Max remembered where she knew her from. She was working with Steve together in Scoops Ahoy. Since the mall “burned down” as they were labelling it officially, they were working at some video shop. Her name was Robin and Max soon decided that she was cool. “Are you sure you’re alright? Because you definitely look like something is up.”, Robin asked and looked at her for a short moment, before her eyes went back to the road.</p><p>Max wanted to nod, wanted to say everything is alright. But it wasn’t. So she gave up all the lying. “No, I had a fight with my friends.” Max answered instead and looked at her. “The other kids? Why? Did they not let you play with them?” Robin laughed, but immediately stopped, when she saw Max’s face. “Sorry, I was just trying to get you in a better mood. Why did you fight?” Max had no idea why, but she trusted Robin. She didn’t pity her like all the others and the girl liked that.</p><p>“Because Billy is alive and I asked El, if she could find him. They don’t believe me, but it is obvious. We never got his corpse and no one of those army guys saw a corpse looking like him!” Robin nodded slightly and looked at her in confusion then. “And the others don’t believe you? Why not?” Max looked at her puzzled with an open mouth. “You- You believe me?”</p><p>The brown-haired girl nodded only, as if that was absolutely out of question. “Of course? I saw shit that was way weirder, so why not that? I mean, if the army guys didn’t see him either, where should his body have gone?” Max nodded in disbelieve. She was the first one to actually just listen to hear. She sat up straight. “Exactly! But the others don’t get that. I understand that El is exhausted and needs some time, but they could at least believe me and try!” Robin nodded again and steered the car to the right. Max had no idea where they were going. “I know someone who will believe you just as much!” She answered with a smile and stopped the car in the driveway to Steve’s house.</p><p>They got out of the car; Steve already awaited them at the door with a sassy grin. When he saw Max, he shot Robin a confused look, but she just shook her head and went inside without a word of greeting. Steve just shrugged and closed the door behind them. They sat on the couch and Steve brought them something to drink. He sat opposite to them and leaned forward a bit, his elbows resting on his thighs. “So, what is going on? Didn’t you go to that sleepover at Mike’s house?” Max shook her head disapprovingly. She didn’t want to repeat everything again. Robin did that for her instead. She told Steve exactly what Max had told her. The boy nodded and sighed. “And you think Hargrove is still alive?” Max nodded again. “Great. I have no idea if this news are good or bad.” He laughed dryly and combed his fingers through his hair. Then he sighed and stood up. “It’s not like I don’t believe you. It definitely could be possible. But what do you want to do about it? You can’t ask El. Mike is going to escalate!” After that Robin only grinned. “I have an idea!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Billy</em>
</p><p>The next few times when he entered the portal, his body was fine and did not collapse entirely. He learned how to navigate inside this dark world and where he had to go to get to his destination. The men let him stay a little bit longer every time, so that his body could get used to it. Sometimes they even let him there over more than 24 hours. His body still started to change, when he stayed longer, but it didn’t hurt him as bad anymore.</p><p>There were times, when the Mind Flayer was gone. He didn’t know where he went, but when that happened Billy could feel himself again. His own body. He had back the control. There was no other voice in his head, no feelings from strangers. But he never could find an exit from this world when he was himself and travelled alone. Sometimes he ran and ran, looking for some way to get out, or at least to hide from the Shadowmonster.</p><p>But it got him every time again, no use in hiding. One time he was hiding in the basement of the Russian laboratory, his legs pulled close, his head on his knees. He was trembling and silently sobbing. And he had stayed that way for an unexpectedly long time. It seemed like hours and Billy really thought the monster couldn’t find him anymore. He slowly stood up and looked around for another way out. But of course, he had been wrong. As soon as he left the building, it was there again. And he got those horrifying feelings back.</p><p>The worst thing was the Mind Flayer getting to know Billy’s own feelings. This monster inside of him skipped through his memories and emotions like they were in a photo book. Sometimes he stops at one memory in particular and lets the boy relive it. Neil beating the shit out of his mother, then out of him. Things like that. But when the Mind Flayer stopped at pictures of Max, Billy nearly freaked out every time. He didn’t want this monster to see Max. To feel, how important she is to him, even though he is behaving like an asshole a lot. But despite all of their fights, he loved her deeply.</p><p>Thinking about her again, when he was alone, made all of this a little bit better. He felt like himself again, at least a little bit. Billy didn’t want to give up - to lose his mind and just let the monster take him fully over. But he didn’t know how much longer he could withstand it. And like all the other times before, he didn’t had more time to think about it, because the monster inhabited him again, took the control out of his hands and started to play him again like a violin.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nancy</em>
</p><p>She smiled, as she opened the door of the passenger side and got in the car. The young girl gave Jonathan a kiss and looked at him in confusion afterwards. “Are you alright? Did something happen?” She sighed and just rolled her eyes, “Did the kids bother you? I told Mike to stay in the basement and-“. Jonathan shook his head and interrupted his girlfriend. “No. They didn’t. You know Max, the red head? She ran away earlier. I tried to follow her, but she was faster. She seemed really upset and I am worried.”</p><p>Nancy raised her eyebrows and sighed again, giving Jonathan a soft smile. “You want to look for her? And bring her back or maybe home?” The brown-haired boy nodded slowly. “I am sorry, we can go watch that movie another day, I promise. But I don’t want her to get lost or, even worse, get hurt.” Nancy nodded and put her hand on his shoulder calmingly. “It’s okay. Let’s go. But we are definitely going to watch the movie! You can’t get out of that!”</p><p>They drove into the general direction in which Max had run off, looking for the young girl everywhere. “What if she went in the woods?” Jonathan asked and stopped at the side of the road next to the pavement. The woods were extremely large. If you get lost it was really hard to find out again. “Well, let’s see for ourselves.” Nancy got out of the car. She walked towards the forest, and then she turned around again. “Are you really going to let me go in there alone? Come on!”</p><p>Jonathan parked his car and followed up to his girlfriend. There were a lot of bushes and it was a hard time getting through them. When they got through the ones at the entrance of the forest, Nancy hissed and held her arm up. “I scratched myself. Great! If I start bleeding my blouse will be ruined!” Jonathan shook his head and took her arm. “It’s not very deep.” He got a tissue out and wiped off the blood. “Look, it stopped already. Let’s go in deeper. I brought those with me.” He held up two flashlights and held one out for Nancy.</p><p>They shouted for Max and went deeper inside. After a while, Nancy sighed and turned towards Jonathan again. “I got the strange feeling she is not inside the woods!” She grimaced. He nodded and turned around. Suddenly he stood still. “Listen. Do you hear that too?” Nancy listened up. “Maybe it’s just a small animal in the bushes or something like that. Let’s go back to the car. If we are fast enough, we could go into the next movie.”</p><p>But Jonathan didn’t answer. He turned around again and walked deeper into the woods, She followed him without complaining. Suddenly he stopped again. “Nancy.” His voice was trembling a bit. Nancy walked up to him and looked at him in confusion. “What’s wrong? Are you oka-“. She couldn’t finish her sentence, because Jonathan raised his arm slowly and pointed at a spot somewhere in front of them. Nancy followed his gaze and she felt like her breath was taken aback.</p><p>In front of them, in one of the trees was a hole. The entrance was shimmery, as if there was some kind of substance, as if it was alive and moving. They both knew immediately what that was. They looked at each other for one moment, and then they turned around and ran for their lives as fast as they could. If they had waited a second longer, they would have seen how the substance started to grow and expand its dull blackness, as if something tried to get through it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. One look in my eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Robin</em>
</p>
<p>Steve did obviously not appreciate her idea, but Max absolutely loved it. So they did it anyways, and even though Steve didn’t like it, he of course would help them. So now she and the boy were waiting for Mrs. Wheeler to open the door. When she did, they both smiled brightly and greeted her. “We are so sorry to disturb you this late, but we have to get El. Hopper called me and told me, we should bring her home as soon as possible.”, Steve lied without flinching and really looked like he was genuinely sorry. “Oh god, did something happen to Chief Hopper? Is he alright?”, she asked worriedly. Steve shook his head dismissively. “No, he is fine. He didn’t tell me exactly what the problem was, just that we should get El. Fast.”</p>
<p>Ten Minutes later they were sitting in the car, a worried El in the backseat, asking thousands of questions. “So, what happened? Is everything alright? Is Hop in danger?” Steve stopped the car abruptly and turned around, facing her. “Listen. Everything is fine. We just need your help and no one is allowed to know why, especially not Mike. Do you understand that?” Eleven nodded slowly and looked from Steve to Robin and back again. “Yeah, but…why? What could I help you with?”</p>
<p>Steve sighed and turned back again, starting the engine up again to drive. “You’ll see, when we are there, ‘kay?” For the rest of the drive everyone was silent. Steve turned into his driveway and got out of the car, the two girls following behind him closely. They went inside the house and the eyes of the young girl widened in concern, when she saw Max. She immediately hugged her tightly. “I was so worried Max! I told the others to look for you, but they said you will calm down and come back again anyways.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Max</em>
</p>
<p>Max gave her a half-hearted smile and sat down with El. “Yeah, I was really angry. Mike is acting as if you belong to him and as if you can’t do anything on your own. So I ran away, but in the wrong direction. They found me, calmed me down and brought me here.”, the red head explained. El nodded in understanding. “Yeah, Mike has been strange since the stuff in the mall happened. But he just cares for me, I guess?”, she sighed in defeat, “But why did they bring me here? How can I help-“, she stopped and looked at her best friend in disbelief.</p>
<p>“Max, oh no! You heard what the others said, you saw it yourself!”, she took the hand of the other girl. “I know you miss him and I can understand that you want to do everything to bring him back, but he is not alive anymore. Not even I can change that.” Eleven really looked like she was sorry and that she wanted to help Max dearly, if she just knew a way how. The red head bit her lip and tried to not cry in front of them all. She understood Eleven’s concern. If Billy was really dead, Max didn’t even know how she would react. It felt like she could never be happy again, if that was really the case. This one thing, Billy being alive, was the only good thing left in her life. If he would come back, everything could be better, could be good again. If he wouldn’t… Max stopped herself from thinking any farther.</p>
<p>“Listen El. I know what you think about the matter. I know what everyone thinks, but I can’t live with the uncertainty anymore, without knowing if I am right or wrong. Please. I just-, I just want to be sure again.”, Max took both of El’s hands and squeezed them. Her voice was shaking, tears were running down her cheeks now, but she didn’t mind them, “Please. He is my brother, even when you guys didn’t like him. He sacrificed himself for you. Just. Do it, please. For me… for him! Please!”</p>
<p>Eleven was looking at their hands, slightly trembling. Then she looked up again, straight into Max’s eyes. She could see hope, but also fear and pain. The pain, of not knowing what happened to Billy and the fear… the fear of hearing the actual, confirmed truth. But Eleven couldn’t stand to see Max cry. So she nodded and let go of her hands, to turn and look at Robin and Steve determinedly.</p>
<p>“Okay. I will do it. I will look for Billy and tell you what I see. But Max, if he…”, Max interrupted her, “I know. I just want to be sure!” She hugged Eleven tightly and buried her face in the neck of the other girl. “Thank you so much El! You don’t know, how much that will help me. You are the best friend I could have!” El smiled and nodded again. “It’s okay. I just need something to cover my eyes with and some space, so, if you could let go of me...” Max immediately let go of her and tried recollecting herself as good as possible.</p>
<p>Steve went away but returned shortly after with a bandana. El put it around her head and nodded in approval. Robin looked a bit confused, but when she opened her mouth to ask something, Steve shook his head and put his finger on his lips knowingly. El took a deep breath and started to concentrate. Soon she found herself in her own dark world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Billy</em>
</p>
<p>When he entered the real world again, he took a deep shuddering breath. Everything seemed to have worked just fine, even though the Russian physicians were not here with him anymore. But he smelled something else. Something interesting. Not those two guys, he already knew their scent way to well. The boy raised his head and took in another deep breath. Other humans. They must have been here a few minutes before he got out.</p>
<p>His eyes could see amazingly in the dark, but he couldn’t see or sense anyone around him. A short moment passed, he thought about following the people and start to build up new alliances. He could need a few of them. He stood there for a moment, still thinking about what to do next, when he suddenly got a strange feeling. As if he was being watched.</p>
<p>The Mind Flayer knew this feeling too well. It was not the same, as when the Russians were watching him. It was different, like someone was watching him from up close. When he turned around again, no one was there. He didn’t know, where this feeling came from. Where did he experience it? Or was it just a memory of somebody else? He was not sure anymore, couldn’t separate the emotions and influences. Billy closed his eyes and the Mind Flayer skipped through his memories again. There must be something, somewhere deep down below.</p>
<p>The real Billy was not sure, what this monster was looking for exactly. Sometimes he didn’t understand it’s thoughts. But he also wasn’t sure, if this thing even had it’s own thoughts at all. He just looked at all those memories coming back to the surface. Memories of his last year in Hawkins. When he started his job as a lifeguard. When he drove to the “date” with Mrs. Wheeler and had the accident. The feeling, when this thing, got inside his head.</p>
<p>Suddenly it stopped and the real Billy raised his eyebrows in confusion. Why this memory? But then he realised what happened. Back then, this one girl had been “watching” him. When he was down in the basement, talking to the Mind Flayer about their next plan. He didn’t remember how the girl was called, but he remembered how she looked like. She was not even there for real, just resembled in something like a shadow. He also remembered, how she told him about his mother. How she got him back to reality and away from this monster. He sacrificed himself for her, died so that she and her friends could survive. So that Max could survive.</p>
<p>Billy always wanted to tell her, that he really liked her. Shit, he was almost sure he loved her. Even though she was an annoying little brat, she was the only thing that could make him happy, when he had a bad day. And that happened often. He knew he was an asshole most of the time. And Max didn’t like him at first. Not that he liked her a lot. But after she had gotten a really good argument, a bat with nails, really close to his dick, he had changed his behaviour.</p>
<p>Once they were driving together in the car and he felt the urge to apologize. To tell her how sorry he was for everything he did to her and her friends. He just wanted her to be safe and maybe he exaggerated. Well, obviously he did.</p>
<p>But he couldn’t do it. The ride stopped too early. When she got out, he shouted a last “Hey!”, but when she turned, he already had driven off. He just couldn’t do it.</p>
<p>The Mind Flayer seemed to enjoy the emotions the real Billy felt, when he relived the memory again. The real Billy immediately tried to stop thinking about it and the Mind Flayer didn’t seem to mind that. He still tried to figure out where he knew this strange feeling from.</p>
<p>Billy’s head turned again, and suddenly his eyes found the thing he was looking for. The shadow. It was like she was standing right there, but when he raised his arm, he could feel nothing. So she got her powers back. The Mind Flayer soon realised what she could do and what a danger she was for him. That got him to another important point. This girl was still alive and had all her powers. Again, a danger for him and for his plan. Billy could feel one big thought in his head, one the Mind Flayer shared openly. She definitely had to die.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Eleven</em>
</p>
<p>She already knew this darkness and how to navigate inside of it. Again, Billy’s picture showed up inside her head and she looked around to see where her powers lead her. She still wasn’t sure, if Billy was even alive and El was scared how Max would react, if Billy was not. The young girl was walking for a while and her hopes got down every eventless minute that passed by. She already wanted to put down the bandana, when suddenly something showed up in front of her. First it was just a figureless shadow, but then she was standing in the woods of Hawkins. She knew this place. When she ran away, Hopper put food out for her in a box nearby.</p>
<p>She walked forward a little bit and her eyes widened in shock. There was a portal again. In a tree. Which could only mean… She turned around fast, and her eyes opened even wider, if that was possible. He was standing there right in the field of her vision.</p>
<p>Billy was alive and was standing across of her in the woods. He looked a lot like back then, except his clothes were different. There was a symbol on the shirt, across his chest and Eleven knew it from somewhere. But she couldn’t quite remember anymore, where she had seen it before.</p>
<p>Billy didn’t look like he had aged… at all. His face was exactly the same, his hair, his muscles. Everything seemed like it was just like when she saw him the last time. Well, not exactly. But there was something she was exceptionally worried about. His eyes looked different than last time. El remembered when she looked into them the, how she could see his true self deep down inside the blue of his eyes.</p>
<p>But that had changed. His eye colour looked darker, almost black and she couldn’t see anything at all down there. No emotions, nothing. Just this darkness. But she could be wrong. Sometimes she couldn’t see the people quite like they were for real.</p>
<p>El jumped back, when Billy tried to grab her. He looked at her, as if he could see straight to her soul. Maybe he actually tried that? “I know you. You fought against me, the last time.”, the voice out of Billy’s mouth sounded very different. Deeper and without emotions. As if he was a computer just repeating everything. “You told him things and he softened. He was weak back then. Too soft. But I changed that. I made him stronger, better, more efficient. You won’t win this time.” Billy started to walk towards her.</p>
<p>She walked back until her back hit a tree. Billy was above her, looking down at the young girl, as if she was just a child. “We will destroy you. And everything you love.” Billy stepped back again and seemed to leave her alone, but El was wrong. Suddenly he was next to her, whispering the following words threateningly in her ear. “I will crush his soul… he all on his own, will kill the one thing he loves the most. The girl.”</p>
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